As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
