Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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