They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
