i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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