We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Are we still banned from the library?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
