Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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