i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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