hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
