The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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