When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize