I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
