I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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