I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize