all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
