Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
