The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
