What a fucking waste of an outfit
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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