Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
