i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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