also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize