Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
