yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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