CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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