yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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