U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
