So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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