I cockslap morals
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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