True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
how does that bad decision feel?
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