she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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