Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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