Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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