then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
