Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
