It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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