Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
