I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
