We're facebook friends in real life
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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