Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
