so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
