just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
