I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize