You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
