I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
