like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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