So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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