New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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