getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
