Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
