Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Still dying that you shit outside
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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