So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
