My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
