He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
