WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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