oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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