I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
