I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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