I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize