i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
