he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
