Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
