these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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