sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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