I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
