i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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