I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
