Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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