Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
