I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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